Surrendering... Warrior or Worrier?

Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

“… If everything has been written down, so why worry…”a lyric in Dewi Lestari’s song, one of Indonesia singer and very talented writer, “Grow a Day Older”, keep coming to my mind every time I am worry or find someone around me worrying. I remember I used to be a worrier (hope it’s warrior than worrier), too, actually for some points, I am still a worrier till now. In God’s presence, yes, if everything has been written down, so why do we worry? We just need to bravely face whatever come and walk through the life in perseverance. Do your best, let God take care the rest, this is one of my favorite quotes.
One of the best experiences I ever encountered regarding worry, happened six years ago. Since that, I truly believe in the power of surrendering myself in the hand of the Almighty God.

I worked till the last two days before my scheduled caesarian day. The day before caesarian was meant as a rest day, so I finished all my works in office before I went to my Obstetrician at night for a final check. The check resulted that I should have the caesarian a day earlier from the scheduled day due to the fast beat of my baby’s heart. I was doubt. The doctor asked if I want to take the risk and go on with the chosen date. Impossible! I had gone through these 9 months and didn’t want to take any risk for my baby so I agreed to have the caesarian the next day.

I was totally exhausted. I didn’t have enough rest. My baby’s heart was beating faster than normal and this worried me the most. How come everything went quite well and suddenly just two days left and such thing happened. I was in deep worry and started to think of the worst.

Back home, I took bath and dinner. It was almost 10 pm. Less than 12 hours later I would have my caesarian. I didn’t think I could take a good night sleep and my mind went wild… for the worst again and again. Just in a sudden, these words came into my mind “The distance between problem and solution is the distance between knee and floor”. Spontaneously, I kneeled down and realized that I was taking a praying position. I closed my eyes and I started to talk to God, “My Lord, I don’t know what to do to keep all the worries far away from me. Tomorrow I’ll have my caesarian. I love my baby with all my heart, my soul, and my everything. I hand my life, my baby’s life, our life to you. You are the Almighty, whatever has to happen, let it be Your way. I surrender ourselves totally to You. Amen.”

When I opened my eyes, I felt a very serene air around me. My mind was in a very peace state. The worries disappear so fast. I felt totally calm. The surrender to God had created such beautiful calmness and I was amazed. I went to bed and easily fall asleep till the next day.

I went through the whole process, from the pre caesarian to delivering the birth, totally in calmness. It last for so long until I touched my Darling Baby, until the presence of this precious beautiful baby in my hand. Surrendering my whole self to God had helped me through all of this. Transferring me from a worrier to a warrior.

For all the mommies who are carrying their treasured babies, your worry will definitely affect your babies and that is the last thing we want to do. We all want happy-healthy-born babies. So it’s counted on us, the mommies. I found surrendering to God totally and wholly has overcome my worries…