Parents' Task

Doing homework session...

Mini Bear : Mommy, what's Daddy's main task?
Momma Bear : Lead the family & earn money to support the family.
Mini Bear : (writing it down) Ok, then what's Daddy's side task?
Momma Bear : Hmm...
Mini Bear : Can I write "fixing the computer"?
Momma Bear : Great!! Of course you can, Honey.
Mini Bear : (writing it down) Now, what's Mommy's main task?
Momma Bear : What is it according to you, Darling?
Mini Bear : Mommy works, so it's earning money to support the family too, right?
Momma Bear : Yup. Mommy also takes care you.
Mini Bear : Yes, that's enough. How about the side task? Mommy doesn't cook...
Momma Bear : No need to emphasize that part, Little Bear. Let's think...
Mini Bear : Mommy doesn't wash shirts...
Momma Bear : Stay focus! The question is "What is?" not "What isn't?"
Mini Bear : Hmmm...
Momma Bear : Oh, here is a good one for Mommy's side task... Mommy ruins the computer
so that Daddy can fix the computer!
Mini Bear : ???
Sesi Mengerjakan PR
Mini Bear : Mommy, apa tugas utama Daddy?
Momma Bear : Memimpin keluarga & mencari nafkah untuk kebutuhan keluarga.
Mini Bear : (mencatat) Ok, trus tugas tambahan Daddy apa?
Momma Bear : Hmm..
Mini Bear : Boleh saya tulis "memperbaiki komputer"?
Momma Bear : Bagus! Tentu saja boleh, Sayang.
Mini Bear : (mencatat) Trus apa tugas utama Mommy?
Momma Bear : Menurutmu, Sayang?
Mini Bear : Mommy kan bekerja, berarti mencari nafkah untuk kebutuhan keluarga juga.
Momma Bear : Yup. Mommy juga mengasuh kamu.
Mini Bear : Ya, itu sudah cukup. Bagaimana dengan tugas tambahan Mommy? Mommy kan
tidak memasak.
Momma Bear : Gak perlu mempertegas bagian itu, Sayang. Mari kita pikirkan.
Mini Bear : Mommy tidak mencuci pakaian.
Momma Bear : Harap fokus! Pertanyaannya adalah "Apa yang merupakan?" bukan "Apa yang
tidak?"
Mini Bear : Hmmm...
Momma Bear : Oh, ini ada satu yang bagus sebagai tugas tambahan Mommy...
Mommy merusak komputer sehingga Daddy bisa menjalankan tugas tambahan
memperbaiki komputer!
Mini Bear : ???

Games for Kids_Play & Learn

"Mommy, can you give me money? There is something I want to buy after school."
"What do you want to buy?"
"Don't know yet, I'll see."
"Ok, here's Rp 5.000,-, spend it wisely."
"Ok, thanks, Mommy."

Here is what she bought: play & learn stuff. 12 cards. 12 cateogries. From fruits to math. Made in China, Rp 7.000,- (the trishaw driver lent her Rp 2.000,- hehehe...). You put 1 card in & name the picture. Simple, quite nice.

"Good, wise choice, dear. Educative."
"Ehmm... actually I bought it because that is the only one I can afford, Mommy."
"???"

Merry X'mas 2009

"Honey, why you put your little handmade Xmas tree at our window?"
"To let Santa know he's welcomed to come in."
"U have written your letter to Santa, right?"
"Yes, I put it in the sock and the letter is gone, Mommy. Santa has taken it!"
"How if Santa didn't fulfill your wish? An organ and fishing toy, right?"
"Yes, Mommy. Well, if Santa didn't fulfill it, it's ok. It's his right, never mind."
"You won't be disappointed?"
"I will but that's ok."
"You are an understanding little cute girl, Darling... Santa will know this. Ok, good nite, Mommy loves you."
"Love Mommy, too, good nite. Good nite, Santa, please come."

The next day...

"Mommy, see, there's a note in my sock. Wow, it's a note from Santa!"
"What Santa wrote?"
"Santa gave me clues where to find the gift!"
"Ok, let's track it, Honey!"

After 3 clues...

"Wow, the organ!!!"
"Congrats, Bunny! No fishing toy?"
"No, Mommy. See, Santa wrote that I am a big girl now, so I should play the organ rather than fishing toy. He's right! Santa also said 'see you next year!' Wow!!!"
"Are you happy, Bunny?"
"Yes, yes, yesssss!"
"Great, be a nice girl, ok?"
"Of course, Mommy. Hey, I wrote to Santa to give Mommy a ring, he didn't?"
"Never mind. Santa always has his own reason to do or not to do things. As long as you're happy, Mommy is happier too! Come on, try your new organ!"

X'mas is not all about gifts... but it's a hope, brand new hope for a better tomorrow... Merry X'mas 2009!!

Forever!!!

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it (Chinese Proverb)




Already 2 months my daughter loves to use the word “forever” in a lot of different situation.

“Mommy, I like this chair. I want to sit on it… forever!”

“Nyummy… this chicken is delicious. I want to eat it… forever!”

“I like red. I like red. I like red… forever!”

“I don’t want to study.”
“Hey, if you don’t study, you’ll fail in exam and can’t go to higher class.”
“I don’t care. I like my classmates. I like my class. I want to be in it… forever!”
“Ok, your friends who study will pass the exam and you can’t go to higher class with them because you don’t study and fail in the exam. So?”
……………………..
“Ok, then I will study… forever!”

When I had to bring my Dad to doctor and couldn’t bring her along, she’ld stick to me like a koala and screamed, “Mommy, you can’t leave me, you have to bring me... forever! I want to be with you… forever!”

In another time, when she was not happy with me, she’ld say, “I don’t want to be with you… forever!” and I would say, “Be careful with what you wish, young lady!” And she’ld revise it, “I… I want to be with you… forever... if only you don't scold me... forever!”

Then one night… We were laying in bed, preparing to sleep. As usual, we chat, just two of us, in the darkness with only one little pink light. We tickled, hugh, and finally said good night, “Love you, Bunny!” I kissed her forehead and cheek. She turned her back on me, no respond, no voice, just silent. I waited for her respond and heard nothing. I thought she was tired and fall asleep very quickly. So I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I didn’t know how long this silence had been but suddenly I felt a very touching whisper came from the little lip beside me, "I LOVE YOU, MOMMY... FOREVER!!"

I turned to her and there she was, looking at me, smiling. “That is the nicest 'forever' that Mommy heard. I love you FOREVER, too, Darling!” We hughed each other tightly… forever!!

What did I do when in your womb?

“Mommy, how were I when in your womb?”
“You were cute, dear, u saw those USG photos Doctor took while you were still inside, didn’t you?”
“Hmmm… for me, they are not nice pics. Do you know what I did inside?”
“Well, you usually woke up on 6 am, then Mommy would talk to you before taking bath because it’s a cold one, no heater. Then Mommy usually hold you tight when riding on trishaw. At work, Mommy often listened to fast-beat music, some kind of house music hehehe… However, Mommy did combine with music for babies, sweet calming ones.”
“Mommy, not ‘what you did’ but ‘what I did’.”
“Ups, sorry, you kicked Mommy, you tickled Mommy, you pointed your fingers around Mommy’s tummy, very cute movement.”
“Did I read inside or draw something, maybe?” (imagination mode on)
“Well… you did.”
“Tell me, did you swallow books and crayon and papers so I could read and draw inside?”
“Hahaha… I bet so.”
“How about lamp, Mommy? I mean, it must be dark inside.”
“Yes, of course, lamps instead of candles because candles could burn Mommy!”
“Hahaha…”
“You know what, you love to make noise inside. Mommy suspect you were stomping!”
“No, Mommy, I wasn’t… I was just playing drums that you swallowed!”
“Wow, our conversation getting far, Lady. We better close our eyes and fly to the world of dreams, ok, Honey?”
………………………………………………………
“Mommy…”
“Yes, Bunny?”
“Next time, make sure you swallow a chair because I didn’t sit for the whole nine months! It’s tiring, Mommy!”
“Hehehe… good night, dear…”
“Good night, Mommy.”

Ants & The Imagination Lesson

Watching ants in row is always a fun thing to do… especially when watching it with kids...

“Mommy, look! There are lots of ants!”
“Leave them alone, Honey, don’t disturb them.”
“Why are they marching like this, Mommy?”
“They are moving. See, they used to stay there and now they are moving to the other place.”
“Why they move?”
“Eee… they found a new better home, maybe?”
“Hey, they march in such tidy row!”
“Yes, ants are very discipline. They also always work together and very diligent. We, human, are supposed to learn from this.”
“Learn from what, Mommy?”
“Well, learn from ants. Discipline, diligent, and teamwork.”
“This one is not discipline, Mommy, it goes out from the row!”
“Not that it is not discipline; it is checking the situation for the others, Bunny, see if it’s safe to continue the journey.”
“Oh…”
“Will you go out from your row, Honey?”
“Yes, if it’s to check the safety for my friends!”
“Wow, you are a great leader! Make sure you do it safely.”
“Yes, Mommy. Hey, this big ant is carrying a rucksack on its back!” (imagination is on)
“Wow, the rucksack is in such bright color!” (following the imagination) “Mommy rather choose a blue one. How about you, Darling?”
“I always love red, Mommy. Look! This little one is pulling a trolley bag!” (higher imagination!)
“Oh yeah? Strong although it’s little. It might eat a lot. Will you eat more to gain more energy, Bunny?”
“Of course, Mommy! I am as strong as Hulk!”
“This one doesn’t carry anything.”
“Maybe it is ill, Mommy, so it is free not to carry anything.”
“Hey, you are so understanding. It could be lazy.”
“No, just now Mommy said ants are diligent, so if it is not carrying something, it must has reason.”
“Ehm… yeah, maybe you are right. High understanding, hah? Look! Look! That one is carrying a freezer, this one carries stove, the other in the middle row carries sofa, followed by the one behind, carrying king-size bed!” (imagination goes wild, this time in the mother’s side)
“Mommy, you went too far… They are only ants.”
“???”

Teaching kids can be from any sources. It is a funny thing to realize that despite of their high imagination (which we, parents, always want to catch up with), actually they are realistic, they know the difference between ‘just an imagination’ and ‘reality’. Make sure not to go too far, otherwise you end up “???”

Where was I from?

“Mommy, you said I was from your stomach.”
“Womb, Honey.”
“Ok. Womb. How could I get in?”
“Well… ehm… you were being put in.”
“Oh… Then you said I was being taken out from your stomach… I mean, your womb, after staying there for 9 months.”
“Yup.”
“If I was to be taken out from your womb, why should I be put in? I mean, if I have to go out, why should I go in?”
“Ehm… that is a very good question from a 5-year-old lady, Honey.”
“Mommy, the answer, please?”
“Oh… what is the question, sorry?”
“If I have to go out from your womb, why should I go in?”
“Because… ehm… your process was in the womb, Bunny.”
“What process?”
“Growing process.”
“Grow from what to what, Mommy?”
“Uhhh… from tiny to a bigger one.”
“A bigger what, Mommy?”
“Bigger baby…?”
“How tiny, Mommy?”
“Very, very tiny, Honey Bunny.”
“Very, very tiny… Did I have hands, legs, head when I was still tiny?”
“Hmmm… not really. See, you grew from a little seed to such beautiful baby.”
“I used to be a tiny seed? That’s horrible! I thought I was a little beautiful baby turned to be a bigger beautiful baby!”
“It’s kind of that, Honey. Ok, now, go play. Don’t worry about the tiny seed or whatever. The important thing is… ehm… the important thing is that you are just great, ok?”
“Ok, Mommy. Last question. You said Doctor did a surgery to take me out from your womb. Was he the one who put me in before?”
“???” (speechless Mommy)

One of the Secrets of Being Happy

Last night I went to Gramedia Bookstore at Palladium with my daughter. As usual, she'll head to the educational games booth to try several games. There was a vacant computer so she just sat down and started to play. Just a minute, an older boy came, took over the mouse and pushed my daughter away. Just grabbed it. Quite rude. "Hey, kid, why you just grabbed like that?" I said. The kid ignored me and kept playing.

Semalam aku ke Toko Buku Gramedia Palladium bersama putriku. Seperti biasa, setiba di sana, dia langsung menuju educational games booth untuk mencoba games. Kebetulan ada 1 komputer yang sedang lowong. Dia langsung duduk dan mulai bermain. Hanya sekitar 1 menit, seorang anak lelaki yang lebih besar dari anakku datang, mengambil alih mouse, dan mengusir anakku dengan mendorongnya. Merebut. Cukup kasar. "Dik, kok pakai rebutan?" Si anak cuek saja dan tetap bermain.

My daughter mumbled and we went to see other stuffs. Later when we passed by the booth, the boy was still playing. We left the bookstore and went to have dinner. When we were about to finish our meal, I saw the boy entering the restaurant, so I said to my daughter, "Hey, see, that's the rude boy!"

Putriku mengomel dan kami pergi melihat barang lainnya. Ketika kita melewati booth tadi, si anak lelaki masih sedang bermain. Kami meninggalkan toko buku itu dan pergi untuk makan malam. Saat hampir selesai makan, aku melihat si anak lelaki tadi sedang masuk ke restoran. Kukatakan kepada putriku, "Hei, itu si anak yang kasar tadi!"

"Where?" my daughter asked.
"See, there he is," I pointed my finger.
"Oh yeah. Forget it, Mommy. When there's a problem and we just forget it, then there's no problem, right?"
"But forgetting it doesn't solve the problem, right?" I asked back because I was so interested of the way she's thinking.
"Yes, but this is only a game, tiny thing, no big deal, why bother? Just let it go."

"Di mana?" tanya putriku.
"Itu, yang di sana," kutunjuk sambil menjawab.
"Oh ya. Lupakan, Mommy. Saat ada masalah dan kita lupakan, maka tidak ada masalah lagi kan?"
"Tapi melupakannya tidak berarti menyelesaikan masalahnya kan?" aku bertanya karena sangat tertarik dengan cara berpikirnya.
"Ya, tapi ini hanya sebuah game, hal kecil, bukan hal besar, kenapa terganggu? Biarkan saja."

I am amazed. My 7+ year-old-daughter just revealed to me one of her secrets of continuous joy. SHE LETS GO. She doesn't bother herself over small stuff. My darling daughter, my life teacher, my happiness & joy mentor!! She reminded me of a quote "Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life!"

Aku terkesima. Putriku yang berusia 7 tahun plus baru saja memberitahuku salah satu rahasia kesenangannya yang berkesinambungan. DIA MENGIKHLASKAN. Dia tidak terganggu dengan hal-hal kecil. Putriku tercinta, guru kehidupanku, mentor kebahagiaanku!! Dia mengingatkanku atas sebuah kutipan "Hidup terlalu singkat untuk men-stress-kan dirimu dengan orang-orang yang bahkan tak layak menjadi sebuah isu dalam hidupmu!"

Lie or Admit?

"Mommy, me and 14 other friends were punished at school this morning."
"Why? What did you all do wrong?"
"Teacher asked us not to play outside the class."
"And you didn't listen?"
"Yes, we played outside the class, got in sweat, and being punished by not allowing us to sit. We stood, facing the window."
"Hmmm..."
"Mommy, when Teacher asked who played outside, I raised my finger. Well, not very high but Teacher can still see it. I admit that I didn't listen to what Teacher said."
"And?"
"A friend of mine, he did go outside but he didn't admit and didn't get punished. Why he lied?"
"So you and other friends played outside and admitted when Teacher asked but one of your friends who played too, didn't admit and didn't being punished, is it right?"
"Yes."
"And how you feel about it?"
"Why he lied? He went to the church every Sunday and often yelled at me of not going to church. But now he lied and I didn't lie."
"Ok, you didn't listen to what your teacher had told you, that's wrong, for sure, understand?"
"Yeah..."
"But when being asked, you admitted your fault, that's right, got it?"
"Yup."
"Being punished is the consequence of not listening and this is right, too, ok?"
"Ok."
"So overall, you're doing the right thing of admitting although it ends up you being punished because you did not listen to what Teacher had said. Anyway, why your friend didn't admit? Maybe he's afraid of being punished. It's his choice. However, there is a fairy who is watching us, note down when we do the right things, when we do the wrong things. So keep doing the right things, ok?"

"Ok, Mommy. Hmmm... He shouldn't have lied... actually it's quite comfy standing facing the window because the wind blow on us..."
"???"

Little Finger & Thumb

Wednesday & Saturday are the days which waking up my daughter in the morning is an easy job to do, compared to other days. Why? Because Wednesday & Saturday are feeding-fishes-day. See, there is a fish pond in her school. She and her friends love to watch those fishes playing around in the pond. I bought a pack of fish food, put it in smaller packs and let her & friends feed the fishes twice in a week. Each kid has one turn to throw a small spoon of fish food to the fishes. I love seeing them yell happily and love more seeing each let others share the turn.


Yesterday was the feeding day. My daughter & I arrived at school earlier and some of her friends already stood near the pond. Quickly they started to feed the fishes. Later when the food pack was empty, one of my daughter's friend just arrived and got mad since she was late and didn't get the chance to feed. She showed her little finger to my daughter which in their world, it means "We are not friends anymore". My daughter's face turned between confused, sad, and a bit angry. She looked at me and said, "What's so big deal of not feeding the fishes? What's so fun about feeding the fishes?" I touched her shoulder, bended down, and said to her, "It's ok. Later in the classroom, just stay calm, no need to show your little finger to her. Just keep being friends." She said nothing and I know she didn't feel well. Her friend already went into class and my daughter had lost the fun in the pond so she walked into the class too. I followed her.

In the class, she looked at her friend who didn't want to look at her. So I said to her friend, "We'll feed the fishes on Wednesday, ok?" Her friend said nothing and went out again. My daughter looked at me and said she wanted to go to the pond again. I nodded. She ran fastly to follow her friend and I walked just behind her to see what will happen.


I controlled myself not to get involved because I want to see how my daughter will handle such kind of situation. Near the pond, both of them bended, looking at the fishes. I saw my daughter offered her right thumb which in their world, it means 'be friends again'. I hold my breath, afraid of having to see my daughter accept refusal. Oh, thanks God, my daughter's friend touched the thumb with her own thumb... friends again!!! Then as like nothing had happened, they put their hands in each shoulder and talked about the fishes funly again. Smile and laugh as usual.

It's amazing to witness how kids settle their own conflict with their own ways. Two thumbs up, kids!

My Daughter's Stories Creation

These 2 stories are written by my 6-year-old daughter (the original are in Indonesian):

Didi & Dodo

There are 2 frogs, named Didi, the big one and Dodo, the small one. One day a wolf appeared. Dodo screamed "Help, help!" The wolf fall down and cried in pain. Dodo & Didi gave advice to the wolf and the wolf apologized of scaring them. Then they played together. If there are friends of yours who do not live in harmony, advise them. This is the story of living in harmony together. The End.

Bugu & Dido

Bugu is a big snake, whereas Dido is a small one. One day a man wanted to shoot Dido. Dido screamed and Bugu bite the man's leg and hand that made the man shocked. The man then apologized and Bugu & Dido forgave him. If there are friends of yours who apologize, then it's better we forgive them. The End.

My darling daughter wrote this in her handwriting. The storyline is simple but the moral is great. She talks about living in harmony and forgiving. Those two heavy topics for adult packed in simplicity of a 6-year-old kid. We all should live in harmony despite of our differences. Apologize then forgive, so simple yet so hard to be applicated by us, the adult.

Now my daughter is writing her third story :)

Sharing...

“Nyummy, nyum!” Huggy Bunny said.
“Yes, it’s very delicious, Honey,” Mommy responded. Both were eating slices of mango from the same plate, sharing.
Huggy Bunny continued eating and speeded up.
“Hey, you are going to eat this all, leaving Mommy with nothing?” asked Mommy.
Huggy Bunny didn’t reply, she just kept putting the slices into her mouth.
“Ok, then we are going to compete!” Mommy made an announcement, opened her mouth widely and put more slices into mouth.
Huggy Bunny said nothing and this mother-daughter were in a very serious mangoes-eating competition… until one little slice left in the plate.
Mommy looked at the mango then turned to Huggy Bunny, “Ok, dear, you can have it.”
Again Huggy Bunny said nothing, slowly but sure moved her little fork to the tiny slice, divided it into 2 tinier pieces, ate one, and gave the other one to Mommy.
“Darling, it’s such a small piece, you just eat it. You don’t need to share with Mommy, it’s ok.”
Huggy Bunny smiled. A sincere glow just sparked from her eyes. “I love you, Mommy.”
Mommy looked at this wonderful little lady, smiled, and ate the petite slice and guess what, that was the sweetest mango slice she ever had!

What Huggy Bunny did is a little simple act that represents a big heart, not the size that matters but the sincere heart to share, the ego being put aside. Sharing is all about heart, about sincerity, far from greediness, the simple sharing comes from heart.

Now sharing even the tiniest piece has become a ritual for Huggy Bunny & Mommy. What a child doesn't receive, she can seldom later give (P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest)

Sorry...

"Ouch, don't be so clumsy, you hit Mommy."
"Ups."
"Ups? Did you do wrong things?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"If you do wrong, what should you do?"
"....."
"Hello, if you do wrong, what should you do?"
"Uhm...apologize, Mommy."
"So?"
"...."
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry, Mommy."
"Ok, good."


"Ups, sorry, Mommy didn't see you behind that Mommy stepped on your feet. Did it hurt?"
"No, Mommy."
"Sorry, Bunny."
"Mommy..."
"Yes?"
"Don't say sorry."
"Why? Mommy step on you."
"That's ok. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Never mind. No need to say sorry."

We teach kids about apologizing, then about forgiving. That's a good lesson. But kids are even wiser, they don't sweat over small stuff. And... they forgive by heart...

Let Them Learn & Grow

As a mother, a born protective one, I pay high attention to everything about my daughter; from slight gesture till her shown or not shown emotion. As all parents, I tend to show her the ways and can’t help to keep guiding almost about everything.

One day my daughter attended a drawing competition, hold in a 5-star hotel. About 50 kids from 5 to 14 years old gathered in a medium-sized hall to put in their creativity. Parents weren’t allowed to wait in the hall so with a friend, we went to the lobby and chatted there while waiting for our future artist finishing their masterpiece.

One and a half hour later, we went upstairs and found out that the competition was over and could bring our kids for lunch before the announcement. We went out for lunch then came back and waited for the next program in the hall. Mothers could sit down but to make 50 kids sitting in the room? Hah!?! So we let them ran here and there with other kids. Since I’m quite a paranoid parent, I kept my eyes on her, ensuring she’ld be just fine and safe.

After 10 minutes, I saw kids making crowd and my bunny daughter was in the crowd. What happened? My daughter and her friend (a girl of same age) were facing 3 older boys with a balloon in one of the boys’ hands, seemed they were arguing while pointing on the balloon. I concluded that they were ‘fighting’ for the balloon. My first reaction was to go there and be the judge in order to protect my daughter from any harming possibilities. I was about to stand up and approached them when suddenly I saw the boys started to run and my daughter with her friend chasing them. The girls lost and seemed unhappy. Both of them talked to each other, more like planning for strategy. They pretended like didn’t care about the balloon and when the boys weren’t alert, the girls took over it. This happened for the next 5 minutes. Finally the girls gave up and the boys celebrated their winning. This time I wanted to approach my daughter to say “It’s ok, don’t be sad, Mommy will buy you balloon.” Just before I put my thought into action (again), I saw my daughter walked to a lady, who seemed to be the one of the boys’ mother. I saw my 6-year-old girl talked to the lady in a polite body language. The lady pointed to the boy who was holding the balloon. I could guess what the lady said “It is his, you go to him.” My darling went to the boy and talked and…. the boy handed her the balloon!!! In peace, with no argument, with no fight!!

She and her friend played it for 5 minutes then handed it back to the boy. I really felt curious of what she said to the lady & the boy, so when she came to me for a drink, I quickly asked her. Her answer, “I told his Mommy that I want to borrow the balloon. His Mommy said that the boy is the boss, so asked him. I asked him nicely if I can borrow the balloon for a while and he agreed, asking me to promise to hand him back later. I said ok, so I played with friend for a while then I handed him back and said thank you.”

I looked at her in amazement. My daughter, without me directing her what to do or representing her of what to do, had settled her own matter wisely and diplomatically. Am I underestimating her all this time in the name of protection? Am I not believing her ability to think and solve her own problem? Am I not trusting her of able to get what she aim and want? Mommy got to apologize, Bunny, you are great!!


Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve (Roger Lewin)

A Loving Date

Last week I had a date with my daughter, just two of us. After picking her up from her course, we went to a mall. Arriving there, first we went to a shop that sells pins, ribbons, and other girly stuff. “You can choose 3 pins by yourself,” I told her and she chose a piggy head pin, a crown pin, and a pink rabbit pin.

Then we went to have dinner, a bowl of delicious noodle and a glass of tea. Simple dinner and we shared it.

From there we went to a bookstore where I allowed her to choose 3 books. She excitedly looked here and there, picked up a mini kids bible with lots of drawing inside, then just sat on the floor and looked it through. I watched her and smiled, she’s so serious looking at the book that her lip was long enough to hang something there hehehe... After a few minutes, she put the book back and decided to look around first. This books hunting was paused for a while when she suddenly wanted to go to the toilet!! However, we finally able to complete this books shopping mission. We chose “Power Bible Comic 1” by Kim Shin-Joong, “Panz the Great Detective, the Secret of Natural & Animals” by Ryu Gi-Woon, and an activity book, contained hundreds of stickers. Before leaving the bookstore, she went to the staff there by herself, asked for the little card to be put in one of the “customers satisfaction boxes”. The staff handed her and quickly my daughter put the card in the “Smiling” box, indicating she’s satisfied with the service.

Then we went to the supermarket and quickly shopped for our shower liquid. Wow, it was 8 pm and raining very hard outside. We left the mall, stopped by McDonald’s Drive-Thru, bought a pack of french fries and ate together in car. We also passed by the almost in-flood road and looked at all the water splashing here and there. We made weird noisy voice in the car and laughed real loud.

Arriving home, my daughter said, “Mommy, this is a very, very fun night!”

A date with my daughter... nothing luxurious here, a very simple date, and yet my daughter treated it as a very, very fun night! Kids are born to cherish simple yet valuable togetherness and they are pretty good in showing their appreciation in their joyful laughter. Surely, I’ll be waiting for such kind of dates with her…

The next morning, I woke up first and I looked at my lovely daughter. It's like she's dreaming something nice... perhaps our yesterday date... she was smiling in her sleep...

Games for Kids_SmartDriver

I'm quite a picky when comes to choosing games for my daughter. She has, as other girls, dolls, cooking imitations, animals statues, stickers, plus some weird stuff she collects by herself, including brochures, bottles, parts of various things, which routinely will be moved to trash by me, the mean mother hehehe... Also computer games, playstation, organ, and sudoku in my handphone.

My favourite (well, not HER favourite) is "SmartDriver from SmartChick", with cars imitations (4 trucks + 12 cars), 120 parking traps those are divided into 4 levels: Beginner (1-30), Intermediate (31-60), Advanced (61-90), & Expert (91-120). In each scenario, we have to move the yellow car (with cross mark on it), to the exit, by moving the cars around it. All the car can only be moved back&front, right&left without turning because there are paths to be followed. It's very hard to discipline my girl to stick on the rule because she keeps saying "Mommy, cars can TURN, right?", "Mommy, sometimes cars can FLY OVER, don't they?"

There is a solution little book, actually, but I have no idea where it is now so we're stuck on No.8 Beginner Level (Beginner Level? Yes, ashamed hehehe...) and I'm crazily curious!!

Anyway, be smart when choosing games for our kids. I always think the combination between techno stuff & traditional will bring good to our kids. As this game, I like it because it's colourful, handy, educative yet fun! In wider sense, it does teach us to get to know what are our obstacles, how to get rid of them towards our goal. Well, I didn't explain in such way to my girl, else she'll get bored with the lecturer mother!! Kids have simple goal in playing... to have fun!! So by providing them with educative + creative-friendly games, we are not only give them activities to do, but also the path to shape their mind in a fun way! Let's play!!

Made in "I"

"Mommy, Alex said my drawing is ugly."
"The parrot?"
"Yes, he got 90 for his. I only got 80."
"Hmmm... did Alex draw by himself?"
"No, his mommy did because he said he cannot draw."
"And yours?"
"I draw by myself."
"Ok, let's make it clear. Alex's mommy draw for him and got 90. You draw by yourself and got 80. First question: actually who go to school? The kids or the mothers?"
"Kids."
"Second question: who got the 90? Alex or his mommy?"
"Since his mother draw, then... his mother!"
"Third question: who got the 80? You or Mommy?"
"Me!"
"So who's smarter? You or Alex?"
"Me!"
"Great, Bunny!! Mommy doesn't mind you got less than Alex because Mommy know clearly, you did it the best you can without Mommy's intervention. You earn your own mark, that's the most important point. Your 80 means more than the not-originally-earned 90. In fact, Mommy is proud of you, getting 80 by your own effort! Got it?"
"Yes, Mommy!!"
"You just need to do your very best and Mommy know you always can!"
"Then Alex should learn how to draw so he can do it by himself next time."
"Yes."

Going to school is to educate our kids the value of own effort, doing the best, being the real better self, not simply the numbers written in the report book. Hope the parents can highlight this and hope the teachers out there can always mark with wider view & wisdom :)

Just Enjoy!!

I guess most parents (if not all) ever suffer a so-full condition that you want to hide in a place where no one can find you, just to relax and do things you want to do. Far from the sometimes-so-nagging kids simply to have a comfy seat, slurping your favorite coffee or tea. Get rid from those mommy-I-want-this-mommy-I-don’t-want-this yell, just to finish the two chapters of your novel. Avoid the mommy-why-this-like-that-why that-like-this, only to focus on your writing or simply nail-polishing.

Everyone needs a space; whether it’s a space to do little things till doing big things, say, like working on your dreams. Having kids require this space to be more tolerant and flexible. Out of normal time, like dawn, becomes a choice for me to create this space. Not only it lets me do my own personal works but also rewards me with a feeling of freedom, that I can have my very own time.

My daughter is an active one (if we avoid the term of ‘hyperactive) and sometimes it’s hard for me to focus on my works or readings when she is around. But one day, when she’s ill and very, very silence… I wish nothing but her daily talkative-non-stop words. John Andrew Holmes describes it the best “A child enters your home and for the next 20 years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child then departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad.”

The best of it is always to enjoy whatever comes. We don’t know how precious it is until one day we lose it.

Bookworm

I am books lover, however, I never force my daughter to love books; I simply open the road for her. Since she was a toddler, I have been surrounding her with books. Put all the books in certain accessible places that will tickle her natural curiosity. Tell her stories before going to bed. Make her used seeing me reading books. Give books as gifts. Provide her with her own bookcase. Bring her to bookstore. Let her see all the pages and always be there to answer whatever questions she might have. Always talk about the books she already saw or read.

Now my daughter has her own mini library. Like other kids, she always love to run here and there but often I found her sitting quietly looking through her books, doing things with those books or recently, read out loud the content. One day, she announced that human has two brains; right one and left one; art and logic. I glanced the book in her hand: the science comic “Why? The Human Body” by Park, Yong-Ha, Heo, Soon- Bong, and Song, Heo-Seok.

This doesn’t make my 6-year-old bunny a genius. This doesn’t make her number 1 in her class at school. This doesn’t make her able to do her homework without guidance or pass all examination with flying color. No. But what I’m pretty sure of is her pictures of the world are definitely got widen… through books. And the most important thing for me is our mother-and-daughter’s communication is growing as we share so many things from the books, our deep close feeling is strengthen every time she lean on me while I read her stories, and my pride as a mother witnessing her growth as she read me stories!

Enthusiasm

Yesterday I accompanied my daughter who was joining a coloring competition, held in a mall. A lot of parents were there to support their kids; some gave target for their kids to win, some gave support for their kids to learn to compete no matter what the result is, some were merely just for fun. Majority were enthusiastic parents.

Sometimes I wonder, are we able to maintain such kind of enthusiasm to support them throughout their life as they grow older and older? Lots of us tend to start judging once our kids begin to have their own opinion, stand on their opinion, learn to decide, develop their ability to argue. The problem appears when our kids grow but we, parents, don’t. Why? Because consciously or unconsciously, we can’t accept their growth that we consider their ideas, opinions, critics, arguments as forms of kids disobeying parents. While in fact, this is a health sign that our kids are growing, not only their physic but also their mind, their view, their soul.

Won’t it be wiser for us to have the same hope we used to have when they were still little kids? Won’t it be more fun to have the same enthusiasm for them as we had and we showed when they were still little ones?

Here is a very nice poem from Diane Loomans:

IF I HAD MY CHILD TO RAISE OVER AGAIN

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.